I Awoke from Uneasy Dreams… MAN-AMORPHOSIS
A Guest Post by Rick R. Reed
I awoke one morning from uneasy dreams to find my penis had transformed itself into a vagina…
I go on from there. Man-Amporphosis is comedy/horror of a different sort, one that should make you all squirmy and giggly (you may even release a little pee).
In its original publication (from Amber Quill Press) one reviewer, JesseWave, said:
“This is one of the most unusual, imaginative and refreshing books that I have read in a long time. Rick R. Reed is a master story teller and he doesn’t spare the details in this romp in the park as he recounts Rickie’s adventure on the other side of the sheets. Man-Amorphosis is going to rock your socks and maybe other articles of clothing because this author does not skimp on the fun. Buy this book … it will more than tickle your funny bone.”
I hope you’ll give my story about what happens to a gay man who wakes up with an innie instead of an outie between his legs a chance. It’s funny. It’s bizarre. And it’s easy-to-read, even on a computer screen. And, like me, it’s cheap. Pick it up here.
And if you’re still unsure, here’s a little sample:
…I awoke one morning from uneasy dreams to find my penis had transformed itself into a vagina.
I was lying on my back and, as is my custom, reached down to give myself a good morning grope. It was my perky way of welcoming in the day. Usually, what awaited my wandering hand was a large column of flesh, with the tension of a steel girder, and the approximate length and width of professional wrestler “The Rock’s” forearm.
My blood ran cold when the hand felt nothing. Imagine how stressed you feel when your wallet or keys have suddenly vanished. Multiply that to the nth degree and you’ll maybe get a hint of the alarm I felt when I discovered my penis had disappeared.
Hoping for a different outcome, I reached down again. Yes, the pubic hair was there, in all its curly, silky glory. The cock, however, had flown the roost. But as I groped, I discovered that, in its place, was not nothing, but something new, different…and damp. Although much of my sexual experience had of late been with the male gender, I had, in my misspent youth, explored the other side of the sexual coin to a ridiculous, self-denying extent (and if you’ve ever met my little daughter, you know it’s true), so I recognized the contours and texture of the feminine apparatus referred to by doctors as a vagina. Everyone else calls it a pussy, box, hair pie, beaver, muff, bush, twat, cunt, quim, red snapper, bearded clam, and God only knows what else.
But what was one of these things doing between my legs? How had it managed to get there? Where had what doctors referred to as a penis gone (you probably call it a dick, cock, wee wee, prostate poker, Johnson, prick, sausage, rod)? Albeit a moustache of sweat had formed on my upper lip, I couldn’t restrain myself from beginning to explore my lower lips. They had a silky smoothness, a not unpleasant bumpiness, an unevenness that appealed to my sense of aesthetic asymmetry. As I gently massaged them, I felt them unfold, like a small, fleshy flower. They sort of puffed up, which made me think how much money people like Melanie Griffith and Barbara Hershey could have saved on collagen if they could have mastered this trick on their upper lips. But I couldn’t be distracted by thoughts of movie star snatches when I suddenly found I had my own…
Rick R. Reed is all about exploring the romantic entanglements of gay men in contemporary, realistic settings. While his stories often contain elements of suspense, mystery and the paranormal, his focus ultimately returns to the power of love.
He is the author of dozens of published novels, novellas, and short stories. He is a three-time EPIC eBook Award winner (for Caregiver, Orientation and The Blue Moon Cafe). He is also a Rainbow Award Winner for both Caregiver and Raining Men. Lambda Literary Review has called him, “a writer that doesn’t disappoint.”
Rick lives in Seattle with his husband and a very spoiled Boston terrier. He is forever “at work on another novel.”
Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/rickrreedbooks