Don’t Let Go

“Don’t Let Go”
by Mychael Black

What a fine fucking time to get dumped: Christmas-fucking-Eve.

Dustin Case ignored the door slamming shut behind him. He ignored the half-drunken shouts coming from his now-former lover. Craig was an asshole, always had been; Satan Incarnate, Dustin was sure. Tugging his coat closed and zipping it up, Dustin stepped out into the cold December night, finally wondering what the hell he’d been thinking for these past seven months. He’d been warned—by more people than he could count—but he’d not listened. Sighing, he had to finally admit that he’d proven them all right: Craig was never going to change.

Snow drifts threatened to topple over onto the sidewalk and Dustin stepped around some that had. The small town, normally a little busier during the day, was already quieting down. Seemed other people had enough good sense to stay out of the bitter cold. Dustin pulled his phone out of his coat pocket and punched ‘one’ on speed dial. A couple rings later, Jason Rhodes answered.

“Dude, I tried to call you at home,” Jason said. “Where are you?”

Dustin snorted. “Walking.”


“It’s over. Done with. End of the fucking line, dude.”

“Whoa, shit. Um, where are you, besides walking? Need a ride?”

Dustin stopped and glanced up at the neon sign buzzing in the window of a Texaco station. “Pick me at the Texaco on the corner of Second and Market?”

“Sure. Be there in a few.”

Snapping the cell phone shut, Dustin stared at his reflection in the gas station window. He’d never cheated, never even looked at another guy. But none of that mattered. All Craig saw and believed were the stupid delusions he managed to somehow come up with over the past two months. A phone call here, a concert there, a semi-private conversation out of the insanity of a party. That’s all it ever was, all it ever had been. Besides, Dustin met Jason long before Craig came into the picture, and throughout countless boyfriends on Dustin’s part and girlfriends on Jason’s, they’d always been there to dig each other out of the slumps when it all fell apart. As he stood and studied his face in the glass, headlights flashed behind Dustin when Jason’s truck pulled into the parking lot.

Had Dustin’s fantasies finally managed to bite him in the ass? He never let on, never even thought about acting on the images parading through his head every time Jason was near. So how the hell had Craig even guessed there was something going on, even if there really hadn’t been?

“Hey! It’s cold, man. Get your ass in here.”

Stowing away thoughts best left untouched, Dustin turned and headed for the truck. He tugged open the passenger door and shuddered when warmth from the heater blasted out at him. Soon as he was in and buckled, Jason backed out onto the empty street.

“How ya doin’, man?” Jason asked him.

Dustin shrugged. “Not sure yet. Didn’t love him, but getting dumped still sucks.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jason nod.

“Yeah, sure does. But it’s nothin’ a little rum, Coke, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre can’t fix.”

That surprised a laugh out of Dustin and he shook his head. “Dude, only you would think to watch horror movies on Christmas Eve.”

“Hell, my folks are in Germany for the season and bein’ single, well, I’m not obligated to do the family thing with a girlfriend. Besides…” They pulled up to a red light and Jason ruffled his fingers in Dustin’s hair. “With you, I can kick back and just be myself, ya know? Not have to worry about being politically correct, polite, or whatever else I’m expected to be.”

Yeah, Dustin knew all about that. “Light’s green.”

Jason turned left, his apartment building just a few yards down from the intersection. “So, you eat yet?”

“Not yet. What’d you have in mind?” Dustin asked they both got out and started up the walk.

“Umm, no clue. Not like we can order out. You wanna cook? I can help if you’re up to it. Might take your mind off everything else.” Jason tugged his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his apartment door. He pushed it open and stepped aside for Dustin to go in first.

“I can. Depends on what you’ve got.” Dustin took off his coat and draped it over the back of the plush recliner that sort of divided the foyer from the living room area. Then he went into the kitchen.

“Not a clue.” Keys tossed onto the bar and his own coat off, Jason joined Dustin in the kitchen. He grabbed two beers from the fridge, popped them both open, and handed one to Dustin. “Save the hard stuff for after dinner?”

Nodding, Dustin took the offered bottle. “Yeah, sounds good.” He stepped around Jason and opened the fridge to study the contents. For a bachelor, Jason kept his refrigerator better stocked than most. Then again, Dustin was the one who usually ended up cooking.

After a quick perusal of the fridge, freezer, and a couple of cabinets, Dustin figured, at the least, he could make a quick batch of chili. It wasn’t a traditional Christmas Eve dinner, but what the hell? It was good and hot and filling. He began pulling out stuff he’d need: hamburger from the freezer, a can of kidney beans from the back of a cabinet, some chili seasoning powder, an onion, and a can of stewed tomatoes. When he turned, he found Jason leaning back against the counter, just watching.

“What?” Dustin asked him, one eyebrow lifting.

Jason shrugged. “Just always liked watching you cook. You get so focused, until nothing else exists.”

Dustin cursed inwardly when he felt himself start to blush. He laughed a little and turned his back to Jason before his best friend could see just what effect his praise really had. “Eh, I enjoy it,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve thought about doing it professionally a few times.”

“So why haven’t you? I’ve known you for…what? Twelve years? I think you’d be an awesome chef, man.”

“Thanks.” Determined to ignore the urge to look back, Dustin busied himself with getting the meat going in a skillet. “Um, can you hand me a knife for the onion?”

“Want me to help?”

“Sure, if ya want. You’re welcome to cut the onion,” Dustin chuckled.

“Oh, sure. Give the mechanic the one thing sure to burn his eyes out of his sockets.”

Dustin grinned over and found Jason smiling right back. It took him another minute to get the image of domesticity out of his head. “What? Too difficult a job for ya?” he teased.

“Hey now.” Jason set the knife down and turned. “You really enjoy pokin’ the bear, don’t you?”

It was a sheer fucking miracle that Dustin didn’t hit the floor the moment “not like the bear will poke me” was out of his mouth. Eyes wide as saucers, he spun around and forced down the huge lump in his throat. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Maybe Jason would just let it go.

“Uh huh.”

Heat washed over Dustin when the warmth of Jason’s breath met his skin. Dustin froze in mid-stir, the metal from the spatula warming as he held it over the cooking hamburger. Something soft brushed his neck and Dustin quickly realized it was Jason’s mouth, those fine lips moving over his flesh.



“Wh-what are you doing?”

Jason plucked the spatula from Dustin’s hand and cupped Dustin’s face, turning his head to meet a calm, confident blue gaze. “Something I should’ve done instead of letting you go out with that son of a bitch,” he said, seconds before his mouth covered Dustin’s in a deep, thorough kiss.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck… This was so not happening, not… Oh, dear God, he tastes so fucking good.

Not sure where the hell to put his hands, Dustin just stood there, arms limp at his sides as his best friend plundered his mouth with a determined, questing tongue. Holy Mother of God, he was so hard, it hurt.

“You can touch, you know,” Jason muttered.

“Huh?” Dustin blinked, then moaned as Jason’s mouth moved down over his neck. Wha…?

“Touch. Me.” Jason nipped Dustin’s throat, setting off a lightning spark straight to his crotch.

“Jason.” Dustin finally managed to get his brain working again and caught Jason’s head in his hands. “What are we doing? I don’t want to fuck up our friendship, man.” No matter how bad I fucking want you.

Jason nodded. “I know. Umm, so…the onion. Right.”

Dustin opened his mouth to say… What? What the hell was there to say? He finally got what he wanted, and then he fucked it up by ending it. Damn, he was an idiot. Jason lifted one dark eyebrow, the look knowing, then turned back to the task of onion-dicing. Dustin blew out a breath in frustration and raked a hand through his spiky hair. This was only gonna get more awkward.


“Hmm?” Jason kept his back to Dustin.

“Look…I’m not gonna lie. I want you. Goddamn it, Jason, I’ve wanted you for fucking years.”

Jason sighed and set the knife down again. Without turning, he said, “I know. You think I’m stupid? Think I don’t hear my name in the middle of the night when you’re so drunk that you have no idea you’re even talking in your sleep?”

Christ. Dustin thought frantically, trying to remember times when he’d been so out of it. Shit.

“You think it’s easy fucking a chick in one room, when what I really want is sleeping on my damn couch?” Jason turned finally and stepped closer, cornering Dustin against the counter. “You honestly think I jerk off in the shower thinking about a woman when it’s my best friend’s touch I need?”

Dustin swallowed. “No…”

“Then what is it?” Hands on the counter on either side of Dustin, Jason just stared at him. “Why run now?”


Before he could blink, Dustin found himself pressed hard against the counter, Jason’s tongue down his throat again. This time, though… This time, Dustin gave as good as he got. He grabbed Jason’s face in both hands and kissed the man as hard as he could, smiling to himself when Jason groaned. Screw the fucking consequences.

“Fuck me,” he whispered breathlessly against Jason’s mouth. “Now. Need you.”

“Thought you’d never fucking ask.” The sound of the lid landing on the skillet was loud. “In the bedroom. Now.”

Dustin barely managed a nod. Soon as the stove was off, he grabbed Jason’s hand and hauled the man to the bedroom. Then he spun around and fought with Jason’s jeans, growling in frustration when the buttons gave him hell. Jason caught his hands.

“Hey. We got time, man.”

Dustin looked up. “So…you’re not gonna, like, come to your senses and think this is a bad idea before we even get started?”

Jason laughed and pushed Dustin backward onto the bed. Then Jason unbuttoned his jeans and shoved them down. His shirt went next, leaving him bare to Dustin’s gaze. Sweet fuck, the man was built. “The only coming that’ll be done tonight is you on my cock,” Jason said, leaning down to tug Dustin’s shoes and jeans off.

After getting naked, Dustin scooted back until he was all the way on the bed. His brain still hadn’t quite caught up to the fact that his biggest fantasy was coming true—right here, right now. Jason crawled onto the bed and Dustin spread his legs, words completely escaping him as he took in the sculpted body, from Jason’s hypnotic blue eyes, down his defined torso, and finally to the thick, uncut cock—hard, the tip beading with precome.


“Shh…” Hands braced on either side of Dustin’s head, Jason leaned down and traced his tongue over Dustin’s lips. “Been waiting for this,” he whispered. “So long, Dustin.”

One hand drifted down Dustin’s body, fingers drawing a slow-burning fire in their wake. Dustin gasped, body tingling, arching into that touch. He stared up at Jason, seeing more than he had the strength to admit. When Jason finally touched him, it was almost too much. Dustin caught his breath, held it as Jason stroked him slowly. He couldn’t speak, no matter how much he wanted to tell Jason just how deep this went. Dustin’s thoughts scrambled to catch up with the rest of him, his hips lifting into every slide of Jason’s fist.

“That’s it, baby,” Jason murmured, never once breaking eye contact. “God, you’re beautiful.”

Dustin felt himself blush. Men weren’t beautiful; he sure as hell wasn’t. He tried to close his eyes, but Jason kissed him again.

“Don’t. Look at me, please.”

When Dustin opened his eyes again, Jason smiled. It eased something inside Dustin, the fear and worry fading. He moaned when Jason’s thumb grazed the tip of his cock. “Jason. Please…”

Hand still stroking Dustin’s cock, Jason kissed his way down Dustin’s body. Every brush of those lips settling deeper into Dustin’s being. Then they touched the head of Dustin’s cock and he let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, Jason’s name tangled in a moan. Jason’s tongue circled the crown, then Jason sucked him into slick heat. Dustin gripped Jason’s head, hips jerking, burying himself in his best friend’s mouth. Jason hummed and the vibration slid up through Dustin’s body.

“Oh, God. Jason. Fuck…” Dustin wasn’t usually so vocal, but damn… How could a man be quiet in the wake of this? He hissed when Jason’s tongue probed the slit, then flicked across it. “Jason, close. Shit. Man…”

Jason lifted his head and winked. Then he dropped back down, swallowing Dustin’s length in one deep breath. Dustin shouted, bucking as he came, spilling down Jason’s throat. Jason moaned, sucked, head bobbing, drawing every last drop out. He licked Dustin clean and rose back up.

“Goddamn,” Dustin gasped when he could talk again.

Jason chuckled and rocked against him. “Been wantin’ to do that forever.”

“Uh huh. Been wanting you to do that forever.” Dustin smiled and pushed a hand between them, fingers trailing over Jason’s prick. The moan he got in return was beyond description. “Need you. God, Jason, I need you.”

“Yeah.” Jason kissed him softly, thrusting into Dustin’s fist. Dustin felt Jason reaching for something. “Get me slick?”

The lube landed on the bed beside Dustin. He let go when Jason rose up a little to put on the rubber. After getting some of the gel on his fingers, Dustin stroked his friend’s cock, watching the way Jason’s eyes grew hazy, loving the catch of the man’s breath. Dustin laid back again and spread his legs. He lifted his balls and pushed two fingers into himself, groaning.

“Goddamn,” Jason whispered. He pulled Dustin’s hand away and put Dustin’s legs over those broad shoulders, spreading him wide open.

Eyes wide, Dustin dug his fingers into Jason’s biceps as Jason slid home. Oh, God. Yes… Dustin arched, breath leaving him in a rush when he felt Jason’s thick cock bottom out, balls resting against his ass. Jason stayed there, unmoving, staring down at him. Nothing needed to be said. Dustin knew that now. Something inside his chest tightened and then Jason was kissing him, hips beginning to move slow, easy. Dustin held on, a part of him afraid to ever let go.

One moment merged into the next, Jason’s lips on his, the sensations inside and out strong enough to take Dustin’s breath away. He tasted himself on Jason’s tongue, felt the man everywhere. The need for the man overshadowed the need to come. Maybe that was why his orgasm surprised him. Dustin gasped, eyes flying open to stare up into Jason’s as he shuddered, moaning Jason’s name.

Jason rested his forehead on Dustin’s shoulder, movements quickening. “Dustin… God, yes.” With a long, deep groan, Jason came, panting Dustin’s name over and over.

Dustin closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath, the words on the tip of his tongue. Fear kept them at bay, no matter what Jason said. Dustin wrapped his arms around Jason’s neck and kissed his shoulder as Jason let his legs down, slipping out of him. Soon as the rubber was gone, Jason rolled them.

“Hey, you okay?” Jason asked after a few minutes. He brushed Dustin’s hair off his face, taking away the chance to hide behind it. “Dustin?”

“Don’t let go.”

“Not going to. I promise.”


Jason yawned and stretched, hand sliding out to touch. Except, the bed was empty beside him. He opened his eyes and brushed the pillow with his fingers. It was still warm, which meant Dustin hadn’t been awake too long. Jason smiled. After so many years of ignoring his attraction, he couldn’t believe they’d finally crossed that invisible line. Now he just needed to convince Dustin that this is where the man belonged: here, with him.

Tossing back the covers, Jason sat up on the edge of the bed and scrubbed his hands down his face. The aroma of eggs, toast, bacon, and coffee filled the air–savory and welcome. He grabbed a pair of sweats out of the dresser and pulled them on. Then he headed into the kitchen, following the rich smells.

Dustin was busy cooking, dressed in one of Jason’s shirts and a pair of loose-fitting lounge pants. He moved around the kitchen like he could do it blindfolded. Jason figured the man probably could, at that. Dustin knew this kitchen better than Jason did.

Jason walked up and slipped his arms around Dustin’s waist, kissing the side of the man’s neck. “Hey.”

Dustin hummed a little, head tilting as he flipped what turned out to be an omelet in the skillet. He made it look ridiculously easy, but Jason knew better. The last time he’d tried, with Dustin’s coaching, the pitiful thing had ended up on the refrigerator door. Jason still wasn’t sure how that happened.

“Morning,” Dustin said. He turned his head just as he slid the skillet over.

Jason met him in a kiss, the hint of coffee never quite overpowering the taste of man. Dustin moaned softly, then turned. His fingers carded through Jason’s hair and Jason found himself pressed up against the counter, Dustin’s tongue exploring his mouth. Hell, yes. Hands on Dustin’s hips, Jason returned the leisurely kisses, one morphing into the next. When Dustin finally pulled back a little, his eyes were hazy, hardness pressing against Jason.

“Move in with me,” Jason said.

Dustin blinked. “I. Really?” Jason nodded. “I mean, I don’t want to crowd you, man. I know you enjoy your privacy and-”

Jason pressed a finger to Dustin’s lips. “Shut up. Move in with me. We’ll network the computers, I can drive you to and from work.”

From behind Jason’s finger, Dustin smiled. “Yeah. Okay.” He pulled Jason’s hand away and leaned in for another kiss, whispering, “Guess I won’t need to worry about a bed, huh?”

Jason chuckled, then groaned when Dustin’s hand lowered, cupping him through his pants. “God, no,” he breathed. “You’ll be lucky if I ever let you out of it.”

The sound of the lid hitting the skillet was loud. Then Dustin grabbed Jason’s hand, tugging him toward the bedroom. “Good. Let’s test that theory.”

(c) 2007 Mychael Black